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A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country.How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

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Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1...2.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Heading 4

Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1...2.
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?

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Primary alert Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Secondary alert Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Success alert Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Danger alert Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Warning alert Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Info alert They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.

Light alert Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Dark alert Human contact: the final frontier.

Accordions

Anim pariatur cliche reprehenderit, enim eiusmod high life accusamus terry richardson ad squid. 3 wolf moon officia aute, non cupidatat skateboard dolor brunch. Food truck quinoa nesciunt laborum eiusmod. Brunch 3 wolf moon tempor, sunt aliqua put a bird on it squid single-origin coffee nulla assumenda shoreditch et. Nihil anim keffiyeh helvetica, craft beer labore wes anderson cred nesciunt sapiente ea proident. Ad vegan excepteur butcher vice lomo. Leggings occaecat craft beer farm-to-table, raw denim aesthetic synth nesciunt you probably haven't heard of them accusamus labore sustainable VHS.